Read and learn

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Vali

Guest

Read and learn

scris pe 4 dec 2007 16:59 de Vali

Intr-o buna zi, un taietor de lemne isi scapa securea in rau. Omul se puse pe jelit pentru ca-si pierduse singurul lucru cu care putea sa-si castige existenta.
Vazand acestea, Dumnezeu aparu langa apa si-l intreba care este cauza disperarii sale. Omul ii explica atunci ca securea sa a cazut in apa si nu mai stie unde e. Atunci, Dumnezeu plonja in rau si reveni cu o secure din aur masiv.
- Asta e securea ta?, il intreba el.
- Nu, raspunse taietorul de lemne.
Dumnezeu intra din nou in apa si, de data aceasta, se intoarse cu o secure numai din argint.
- Asta e securea ta?, intreba el din nou.
- Nu, raspunse din nou taietorul de lemne.
A treia oara, Dumnezeu reveni cu o secure de fier si il intreba din nou pe omul de pe mal:
- Asta e securea ta?
- Da, asta e, ii raspunse, de data aceasta, taietorul de lemne.
Dumnezeu, miscat de onestitatea omului, ii facu cadou toate trei securile. Cateva zile mai tarziu, taietorul se plimba pe malul raului cu nevasta sa. Dintr-o data, aceasta cazu in apa. Cum omul se puse din nou pe plans, Dumnezeu aparu din nou, intrebandu-l care-i este necazul.
- Nevasta mea a cazut in apa, ii raspunse taietorul de lemne printre suspine.
Atunci Dumnezeu sari in apa si aparu cu Penelope Cruz in brate.
-Asta este nevasta ta?, intreba el.
- DA! urla omul.
Atunci Dumnezeu, furios, il lua la suturi: De ce minti?
Atunci, taietorul de lemne incepu sa explice:
-Daca spuneam "nu" la Penelope Cruz, data viitoare mi-o aduceai pe Catherine Zeta-Jones. Si, daca si atunci as fi spus "nu", a treia oara mi-o aduceai pe nevasta-mea. Si, daca de data aceea as fi spus "da", mi le faceai cadou pe toate trei, dar eu sunt un om nevoias si n-am de unde sa hranesc trei femei. Acesta este motivul pentru care am raspuns cu "da" de prima data.
Morala: Barbatii mint intotdeauna numai din motive perfect oneste si logice.
sus

katherine

Expert member
1038 mesaje

Re: Read and learn

scris pe 4 dec 2007 23:55 de katherine

Barbatii mint intotdeauna numai din motive perfect oneste si logice.



Oh, pleeeeeeeeeease...Tu te auzi ce spui?!




Water is my eye
Most faithful mirror
Fearless on my breath
Teardrop on the fire of a confession
Fearless on my breath
Most faithful mirror
Fearless on my breath
sus

Ghiocel

Guest

Re: Re: Read and learn

scris pe 5 dec 2007 00:08 de Ghiocel




Oh, pleeeeeeeeeease...Tu te auzi ce spui?!


Nu...vad!
sus

katherine

Expert member
1038 mesaje

Re: Re: Re: Read and learn

scris pe 5 dec 2007 00:16 de katherine



Nu...vad!


Something's very wrong here but who cares?!




Water is my eye
Most faithful mirror
Fearless on my breath
Teardrop on the fire of a confession
Fearless on my breath
Most faithful mirror
Fearless on my breath
sus

baby

Expert member
3569 mesaje

Read and learn

scris pe 8 dec 2007 21:58 de baby

INTERESANTA POVESTEA!!





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBUxuyYC96o

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solokd

Expert member
522 mesaje

Re: Read and learn

scris pe 10 dec 2007 02:20 de solokd

Intr-o buna zi, un taietor de lemne isi scapa securea in rau. Omul se puse pe jelit pentru ca-si pierduse singurul lucru cu care putea sa-si castige existenta.
Vazand acestea, Dumnezeu aparu langa apa si-l intreba care este cauza disperarii sale. Omul ii explica atunci ca securea sa a cazut in apa si nu mai stie unde e. Atunci, Dumnezeu plonja in rau si reveni cu o secure din aur masiv.
- Asta e securea ta?, il intreba el.
- Nu, raspunse taietorul de lemne.
Dumnezeu intra din nou in apa si, de data aceasta, se intoarse cu o secure numai din argint.
- Asta e securea ta?, intreba el din nou.
- Nu, raspunse din nou taietorul de lemne.
A treia oara, Dumnezeu reveni cu o secure de fier si il intreba din nou pe omul de pe mal:
- Asta e securea ta?
- Da, asta e, ii raspunse, de data aceasta, taietorul de lemne.
Dumnezeu, miscat de onestitatea omului, ii facu cadou toate trei securile. Cateva zile mai tarziu, taietorul se plimba pe malul raului cu nevasta sa. Dintr-o data, aceasta cazu in apa. Cum omul se puse din nou pe plans, Dumnezeu aparu din nou, intrebandu-l care-i este necazul.
- Nevasta mea a cazut in apa, ii raspunse taietorul de lemne printre suspine.
Atunci Dumnezeu sari in apa si aparu cu Penelope Cruz in brate.
-Asta este nevasta ta?, intreba el.
- DA! urla omul.
Atunci Dumnezeu, furios, il lua la suturi: De ce minti?
Atunci, taietorul de lemne incepu sa explice:
-Daca spuneam "nu" la Penelope Cruz, data viitoare mi-o aduceai pe Catherine Zeta-Jones. Si, daca si atunci as fi spus "nu", a treia oara mi-o aduceai pe nevasta-mea. Si, daca de data aceea as fi spus "da", mi le faceai cadou pe toate trei, dar eu sunt un om nevoias si n-am de unde sa hranesc trei femei. Acesta este motivul pentru care am raspuns cu "da" de prima data.
Morala: Barbatii mint intotdeauna numai din motive perfect oneste si logice.



sa imi povesteasca si mie cineva ca me lene sa citesc



Love Is The Name...
Sex Is the Game....
Fuck The Name And Play The Game...
sus

Vali

Guest

Re: Re: Read and learn

scris pe 14 dec 2007 17:24 de Vali

"Daca barbatul ar sti realmente valoarea pe care o are femeia ar merge in patru labe in cautarea ei." Daca sunteti femeie, cu siguranta ati aseza virgula dupa cuvantul "femeia". Daca sunteti barbat, cu siguranta ati aseza virgula dupa cuvantul "are".
sus

Vali

Guest

Re: Re: Re: Read and learn

scris pe 14 dec 2007 17:32 de Vali

Un sofer de tir intra intr-un bordel de pe traseu, pune 500 de dolari pe masa patroanei si spune:
- Ai aici 500 de parai, da-mi cea mai grasa si nasoala femeie pe care o ai si trimite-mi in camera si o portie din cea mai arsa, lipita si fara gust mincare de la bucatarie.
Patroana:
- Iubi..dar de banii astia iti dau cea mai tare femeie de pe aici, plus ca te hranesc 3 zile cu cele mai fine mincaruri.
Soferul:
- Honey, n-am chef de sex, mi-e dor de casa.
sus

Vali

Guest

Re: Re: Re: Re: Read and learn

scris pe 14 dec 2007 17:33 de Vali

Trei barbati se laudau cu cadourile cumparate pentru sotii. Primul zice:
- Eu i-am cumparat ceva care ajunge de la 0 la 100 in 6 secunde.
Ceilalti:
- Inseamna ca e o masina tare!
- Da, un Porsche negru, fiindca sotiei mele ii place negrul si se potriveste cu tinutele ei.
Al doilea zice:
- Eu i-am luat ceva ce ajunge de la 0 la 100 in 4 secunde.
- Nu se poate, zic ceilalti, precis e un Ferrari!
- Da, raspunde tipul, un Ferrari rosu, pentru ca se potriveste cu tinuta sotiei mele.
Al treilea nu zicea nimic, dar pentru ca tot insistau amicii lui, zice si el:
- Eu i-am luat ceva ce i se potriveste perfect la tinuta si ajunge de la 0 la 100 in mai putin de o secunda.
- Nu se poate, doar masina mai rapida decat Ferrari nu exista!
- Ba se poate! I-am cumparat un cantar!
sus

katherine

Expert member
1038 mesaje

Re: Re: Re: Re: Read and learn

scris pe 15 dec 2007 15:19 de katherine

Un sofer de tir intra intr-un bordel de pe traseu, pune 500 de dolari pe masa patroanei si spune:
- Ai aici 500 de parai, da-mi cea mai grasa si nasoala femeie pe care o ai si trimite-mi in camera si o portie din cea mai arsa, lipita si fara gust mincare de la bucatarie.
Patroana:
- Iubi..dar de banii astia iti dau cea mai tare femeie de pe aici, plus ca te hranesc 3 zile cu cele mai fine mincaruri.
Soferul:
- Honey, n-am chef de sex, mi-e dor de casa.



Zi la mama unde te mananca....




Water is my eye
Most faithful mirror
Fearless on my breath
Teardrop on the fire of a confession
Fearless on my breath
Most faithful mirror
Fearless on my breath
sus

oanaaaaa

Veteran member
192 mesaje

Re: Read and learn

scris pe 15 dec 2007 18:10 de oanaaaaa

Intr-o buna zi, un taietor de lemne isi scapa securea in rau. Omul se puse pe jelit pentru ca-si pierduse singurul lucru cu care putea sa-si castige existenta.
Vazand acestea, Dumnezeu aparu langa apa si-l intreba care este cauza disperarii sale. Omul ii explica atunci ca securea sa a cazut in apa si nu mai stie unde e. Atunci, Dumnezeu plonja in rau si reveni cu o secure din aur masiv.
- Asta e securea ta?, il intreba el.
- Nu, raspunse taietorul de lemne.
Dumnezeu intra din nou in apa si, de data aceasta, se intoarse cu o secure numai din argint.
- Asta e securea ta?, intreba el din nou.
- Nu, raspunse din nou taietorul de lemne.
A treia oara, Dumnezeu reveni cu o secure de fier si il intreba din nou pe omul de pe mal:
- Asta e securea ta?
- Da, asta e, ii raspunse, de data aceasta, taietorul de lemne.
Dumnezeu, miscat de onestitatea omului, ii facu cadou toate trei securile.
partea asta
face parte dintr-o poveste pe care mi-o spunea mama cand eram mica...
continuarea ar fi cam asa: omul fericit ca si-a recapatat secura pleaca la taiat lemne.In drumul lui se intalneste cu un pieten care uimit de cele 3 securi il intreaba de unde le are,iar padurarul ii povesteste tot.Omul,lacom din fire,se duce la rau si insi arunca secura in apa si incepe sa planga cu lacrimi de crocodil.Vazand asta, Dumnezeu aparu langa el si-l intreaba ce a patit.Omul ii explica ce s-a intamplat si Dumnezeu sare in apa si iese cu o secura din aur si-l intreaba:Asta-i secura ta?", omul fericit zice: "Da,da,asta e!" si intinde mana sa o ia,atunci Dumnezeu se supara si-i zice: "Asta nu-i secura ta,de ce minti,pentru minciuna ta vi pleca de aici cu mainile goale" . Si omul pleca acasa plangandu-si secura pierduta.



Sunt succese care te injosesc si infrangeri care te inalta. (Nicolae Iorga).
sus

Mariachi

Guest

Re: Re: Re: Re: Read and learn

scris pe 19 dec 2007 00:34 de Mariachi

http://tinyurl.com/33rf7m



Cine zicea ca nu e adevarat ca cele mai multe femei sunt c**** ?
sus

asd

Guest

Re: Re: Re: Re: SI EU TE IUBESC

scris pe 4 ian 2008 06:41 de asd

http://tinyurl.com/2s7wdy
sus

_katherine_

Junior member
22 mesaje

SI EU TE URASC!

scris pe 5 ian 2008 09:53 de _katherine_

http://news.softpedia.com/news/Wh
y-Males-Are-More-Evolved-than-Females-70
958.shtml


This is not available anymore,"seducatorule"
sus

SORIN28

Expert member
3805 mesaje

Re:

scris pe 5 ian 2008 10:08 de SORIN28



This is not available anymore,"seducatorule"


Daca te uitai putin mai sus vedeai tot link-ul...si inca mai este articolul



Radio Greu de difuzat

http://radio-host.ro:8012/
sus

valentine

Expert member
6465 mesaje

Re: Re:

scris pe 6 ian 2008 00:02 de valentine

De la mine, fara numar pt tine
sus

valentine

Expert member
6465 mesaje

Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women

scris pe 22 ian 2008 23:51 de valentine

Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.

Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com

10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome

I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.

9. Men are not sponges

Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.

8. Women are racists

Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.

7. Men live less than women

The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!

6. Men write illegibly

Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.

5. Jesus was a man

Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.

4. Men wear watches

Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.

A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.

3. Boys destroy things

The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!

2. Marriage is stupid

Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.

Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.

1. Men have penises(!!!!)

When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’

Men Are Better Than Women.

sus

valentine

Expert member
6465 mesaje

Re: Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women

scris pe 22 ian 2008 23:59 de valentine

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/4183166.stm


S-a demonstrat stiintific. Punct. Pa
sus

Danny_DaBoss

Expert member
2005 mesaje

Re: Re: Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women

scris pe 23 ian 2008 10:16 de Danny_DaBoss

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/4183166.stm


S-a demonstrat stiintific. Punct. Pa


da normal. ce au inventat barbatii ? vehicule, electronice, avioane, constructii etc etc.. femeile ? tigari, tampoane si tanga ?
sus

Danny_DaBoss

Expert member
2005 mesaje

Re: Re: Re: Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Wo

scris pe 23 ian 2008 10:17 de Danny_DaBoss

dar bineinteles sunt prea orgolioase ca sa recunoasca. nu se lasa ele mai jos decat barbatul. doar.. stiti voi cand..
sus

ExoticDream

Expert member
15906 mesaje

YOU read and learn!

scris pe 24 ian 2008 00:12 de ExoticDream

Let's see..... wow, even vibrators are better than men!!! Why? Look here:

Top Ten reasons why vibrators are better than men

1. It keeps going, and going, and going.

A vibrator can keep going as long as it takes to satisfy you. All it needs is a power supply, and batteries are a lot cheaper and easier to get than Viagra.

2. You don’t have to worry where else it’s been.

Unless you picked it up at a yard sale, you won’t have to give a second thought to who else might have used your vibrator before you. And you won’t have to worry about your vibrator jumping in another woman’s pants when you’re gone, unless if you have a freaky roommate.

3. Vibrators can have more than one speed.

Most guys have two settings: full speed and off. Vibrators have variable controls and let you pick the pace and intensity.

4. A vibrator won’t ask you if it’s bigger than all other vibrators you’ve had.

Vibrators aren’t insecure about their size or ability, and don’t keep asking for reassurance. Big or small, they just get the job done.

5. A vibrator doesn’t roll over and snore.

A vibrator won’t finish before you and fall asleep. When you’re done with it, just shut it off and tuck it in your night stand drawer, then get a peaceful night’s rest with the bed to yourself.

6. It’s ready when you are, and only when you are.

With a flick of a switch, your vibrator is ready to give you pleasure. On the other hand, when you’re tired or have a headache, you won’t get in bed and find your vibrator turned on.

7. Vibrators are designed for your pleasure.

A penis is designed for procreation and male sexual pleasure, not to stimulate the clitoris and bring a woman to orgasm. A vibrator, on the other hand, was created with women in mind. Use the right tool for the job.

8. No germs and no sperm.

A vibrator can’t get you pregnant or give you an STD. You’ll never have to worry about birth control, condoms, or safe sex. If you like the feel of latex, slap a condom on for easy cleaning.

9. Vibrators don’t expect you to swallow.

You will never have to give your vibrator a blow job, much less swallow its cum or be made to feel guilty if you don’t.

10. Vibrators are easy to replace.

Quite true, isn't it?



"Nu inteleg cum pot exista oameni indiferenti in aceasta lume, cum pot exista suflete care nu se chinuiesc, inimi care nu cred, simtiri care nu vibreaza, lacrimi care nu plang..."(E.Cioran)

"Nimeni pe lumea asta, barbat sau femeie, nu merita lacrimile tale. Iar cel care le merita nu te va face sa plangi..." (G.G.Marquez)
sus

ExoticDream

Expert member
15906 mesaje

Read and learn.... some more!

scris pe 24 ian 2008 00:14 de ExoticDream

(Many) Reasons Why Chocolate Is Better Than Men

1. Eating chocolate is always an orgasmic experience.
2. Chocolate is dark, rich, and satisfying.
3. Chocolate is mentally stimulating.
4. Chocolate always smells good.
5. Chocolate doesn't complain when you want to cuddle up with it.
6. Chocolate doesn't care how many pieces you've eaten before.
7. You can suck on a piece of chocolate for a really long time.
8. Your friends always like chocolate.
9. Chocolate never leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
10. You always know if someone else has eaten any of your chocolate.
11. One taste and you can't help but want more.
12. Chocolate doesn't just think it's smooth.
13. You're never disappointed when you open the wrapper.
14. Chocolate satisfies every time.
15. When chocolate melts in your mouth it tastes good.
16. You can tell just by looking at it, that it's not been in someone else' mouth.
17. It doesn't sulk if you don't want it first thing in the morning.
18. If it gets soft, a few seconds in the refridgerator will make it hard again.
19. Chocolate knows how to be chocolate, you don't have to teach it.
20. You can read the label and know what it's made of.
21. Chocolate always hits the spot.
22. If you love me, you'll swallow that" gives real meaning when it comes to chocolate.
23. Size really doesn't matter.




"Nu inteleg cum pot exista oameni indiferenti in aceasta lume, cum pot exista suflete care nu se chinuiesc, inimi care nu cred, simtiri care nu vibreaza, lacrimi care nu plang..."(E.Cioran)

"Nimeni pe lumea asta, barbat sau femeie, nu merita lacrimile tale. Iar cel care le merita nu te va face sa plangi..." (G.G.Marquez)
sus

Guest

Guest

Re: Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women

scris pe 24 ian 2008 10:20 de Guest

Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.

Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com

10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome

I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.

9. Men are not sponges

Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.

8. Women are racists

Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.

7. Men live less than women

The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!

6. Men write illegibly

Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.

5. Jesus was a man

Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.

4. Men wear watches

Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.

A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.

3. Boys destroy things

The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!

2. Marriage is stupid

Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.

Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.

1. Men have penises(!!!!)

When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’

Men Are Better Than Women.



Then why don't you become a gay?
sus

Guest

Guest

Re: Read and learn.... some more!

scris pe 24 ian 2008 10:25 de Guest

(Many) Reasons Why Chocolate Is Better Than Men

1. Eating chocolate is always an orgasmic experience.
2. Chocolate is dark, rich, and satisfying.
3. Chocolate is mentally stimulating.
4. Chocolate always smells good.
5. Chocolate doesn't complain when you want to cuddle up with it.
6. Chocolate doesn't care how many pieces you've eaten before.
7. You can suck on a piece of chocolate for a really long time.
8. Your friends always like chocolate.
9. Chocolate never leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
10. You always know if someone else has eaten any of your chocolate.
11. One taste and you can't help but want more.
12. Chocolate doesn't just think it's smooth.
13. You're never disappointed when you open the wrapper.
14. Chocolate satisfies every time.
15. When chocolate melts in your mouth it tastes good.
16. You can tell just by looking at it, that it's not been in someone else' mouth.
17. It doesn't sulk if you don't want it first thing in the morning.
18. If it gets soft, a few seconds in the refridgerator will make it hard again.
19. Chocolate knows how to be chocolate, you don't have to teach it.
20. You can read the label and know what it's made of.
21. Chocolate always hits the spot.
22. If you love me, you'll swallow that" gives real meaning when it comes to chocolate.
23. Size really doesn't matter.



Well done,girl! You really shut his big mouth!!!
sus

Guest

Guest

Re: YOU read and learn!

scris pe 24 ian 2008 10:27 de Guest

Let's see..... wow, even vibrators are better than men!!! Why? Look here:

Top Ten reasons why vibrators are better than men

1. It keeps going, and going, and going.

A vibrator can keep going as long as it takes to satisfy you. All it needs is a power supply, and batteries are a lot cheaper and easier to get than Viagra.

2. You don’t have to worry where else it’s been.

Unless you picked it up at a yard sale, you won’t have to give a second thought to who else might have used your vibrator before you. And you won’t have to worry about your vibrator jumping in another woman’s pants when you’re gone, unless if you have a freaky roommate.

3. Vibrators can have more than one speed.

Most guys have two settings: full speed and off. Vibrators have variable controls and let you pick the pace and intensity.

4. A vibrator won’t ask you if it’s bigger than all other vibrators you’ve had.

Vibrators aren’t insecure about their size or ability, and don’t keep asking for reassurance. Big or small, they just get the job done.

5. A vibrator doesn’t roll over and snore.

A vibrator won’t finish before you and fall asleep. When you’re done with it, just shut it off and tuck it in your night stand drawer, then get a peaceful night’s rest with the bed to yourself.

6. It’s ready when you are, and only when you are.

With a flick of a switch, your vibrator is ready to give you pleasure. On the other hand, when you’re tired or have a headache, you won’t get in bed and find your vibrator turned on.

7. Vibrators are designed for your pleasure.

A penis is designed for procreation and male sexual pleasure, not to stimulate the clitoris and bring a woman to orgasm. A vibrator, on the other hand, was created with women in mind. Use the right tool for the job.

8. No germs and no sperm.

A vibrator can’t get you pregnant or give you an STD. You’ll never have to worry about birth control, condoms, or safe sex. If you like the feel of latex, slap a condom on for easy cleaning.

9. Vibrators don’t expect you to swallow.

You will never have to give your vibrator a blow job, much less swallow its cum or be made to feel guilty if you don’t.

10. Vibrators are easy to replace.

Quite true, isn't it?


Hai sa te vedem acum,"""seducatorule"""!!!
sus

valentine

Expert member
6465 mesaje

Re: Re: YOU read and learn!

scris pe 18 iun 2008 03:37 de valentine

Intr-o seara, saptamana trecuta, eu si sotia mea eram in pat. Dupa ceva timp, eu am inceput sa devin infocat... cand ea a zis:
- Nu pot acuma, nu sunt dispusa... As fi vrut numai sa ma tii in brate.
Am intrebat:
- CUM ?!?! Ce ai acuma?
Iar ea a zis cuvinte de care fiecarui barbat de pe planeta ii este teama sa le auda:
- Tu, pur si simplu nu intelegi nevoile mele emotionale pe care le am eu ca femeie, ca sa pot sa-ti indeplinesc nevoile tale fizice care le ai ca barbat.
La privirea mea nelamurita, ea a raspuns:
- Chiar nu poti sa ma iubesti asa cum sunt, ci nu numai din cauza celor ce fac cu tine in pat?
Intelegand ca in seara acea nu va fi nimic, m-am intors si am adormit.In ziua urmatoare l-am sunat pe seful meu si mi-am luat o zi libera, ca sa petrec timpul cu ea. Am luat masa afara, iar apoi am dus-o intr-un centru comercial mare la sectiune cu haine de dama. Am insotit-o pana ce ea a probat cateva costume scumpe. Nu a putut sa se hotareasca ce sa aleaga, astfel ca am zis sa le luam pe toate. A vrut si pantofi, care sa se asorteaza cu costumele, astfel ca i-am zis sa aleaga cate o pereche pentru fiecare costum. Am ajuns si la sectiune cu bijuterii, unde i-am luat cercei cu briliante.Ce sa va zic ... era tare entuziazmata.Precis s-a gandit ca sunt la un pas de faliment. Am crezut ca ma pune la proba cand a cerut sa-i iau si o fustita de tenis desi nu a jucat tenis niciodata.Precis am pus-o pe ganduri cand am zis:
- Da, sigur, iubito.
Aproape ca era in extaz din cauza fericiri. Zambindu-mi, in sfarsit a zis:
- Cred ca asta ar fi totul. Putem merge la casa.
Eu, abia m-am abtinut sa nu rid cand i-am zis:
- Nu pot acuma, nu sunt dispus.
Fata i-a devenit palida, falca i-a "cazut" si a zis:
- Cum ?!?!
Iar eu i-am zis:
- Am vrut numai sa tii aceste lucrurile in brate ceva timp... Tu pur si simplu nu intelegi problemele mele financiare pe care le am ca barbat, ca sa fiu in stare sa indeplinesc nevoile tale pe care le ai ca femeie sa faci cumparaturi.
Si tocmai atunci cand a avut privirea ca si cum ca ar fi vrut sa ma omoare, am adaugat:
- Chiar nu poti sa ma iubesti asa cum sunt, ci numai din cauza lucrurilor pe care ti le cumpar?

sus

asd

Guest

YOU read and learn!

scris pe 18 iun 2008 09:19 de asd

Intr-o seara, saptamana trecuta, eu si sotia mea eram in pat. Dupa ceva timp, eu am inceput sa devin infocat... cand ea a zis:
- Nu pot acuma, nu sunt dispusa... As fi vrut numai sa ma tii in brate.
Am intrebat:
- CUM ?!?! Ce ai acuma?
Iar ea a zis cuvinte de care fiecarui barbat de pe planeta ii este teama sa le auda:
- Tu, pur si simplu nu intelegi nevoile mele emotionale pe care le am eu ca femeie, ca sa pot sa-ti indeplinesc nevoile tale fizice care le ai ca barbat.
La privirea mea nelamurita, ea a raspuns:
- Chiar nu poti sa ma iubesti asa cum sunt, ci nu numai din cauza celor ce fac cu tine in pat?
Intelegand ca in seara acea nu va fi nimic, m-am intors si am adormit.In ziua urmatoare l-am sunat pe seful meu si mi-am luat o zi libera, ca sa petrec timpul cu ea. Am luat masa afara, iar apoi am dus-o intr-un centru comercial mare la sectiune cu haine de dama. Am insotit-o pana ce ea a probat cateva costume scumpe. Nu a putut sa se hotareasca ce sa aleaga, astfel ca am zis sa le luam pe toate. A vrut si pantofi, care sa se asorteaza cu costumele, astfel ca i-am zis sa aleaga cate o pereche pentru fiecare costum. Am ajuns si la sectiune cu bijuterii, unde i-am luat cercei cu briliante.Ce sa va zic ... era tare entuziazmata.Precis s-a gandit ca sunt la un pas de faliment. Am crezut ca ma pune la proba cand a cerut sa-i iau si o fustita de tenis desi nu a jucat tenis niciodata.Precis am pus-o pe ganduri cand am zis:
- Da, sigur, iubito.
Aproape ca era in extaz din cauza fericiri. Zambindu-mi, in sfarsit a zis:
- Cred ca asta ar fi totul. Putem merge la casa.
Eu, abia m-am abtinut sa nu rid cand i-am zis:
- Nu pot acuma, nu sunt dispus.
Fata i-a devenit palida, falca i-a "cazut" si a zis:
- Cum ?!?!
Iar eu i-am zis:
- Am vrut numai sa tii aceste lucrurile in brate ceva timp... Tu pur si simplu nu intelegi problemele mele financiare pe care le am ca barbat, ca sa fiu in stare sa indeplinesc nevoile tale pe care le ai ca femeie sa faci cumparaturi.
Si tocmai atunci cand a avut privirea ca si cum ca ar fi vrut sa ma omoare, am adaugat:
- Chiar nu poti sa ma iubesti asa cum sunt, ci numai din cauza lucrurilor pe care ti le cumpar?



MISTOOOOOOOOOOOO


sus

vali

Guest

Re: YOU read and learn!

scris pe 6 iul 2008 00:00 de vali

Noutate in New York. S-a deschis un nou magazin, unde femeile pot cumpara un sot.
La intrare sunt expuse instructiuni despre cum functioneaza magazinul:
- Poti vizita magazinul O SINGURA DATA.
- Exista 6 etaje, iar caracteristicile se imbunatatesc pe masura ce urci.
- Poti alege orice barbat de etajul in care te situezi sau urci la un etaj superior -nu se poate sa te intorci la etajul inferior.

O femeie hotaraste sa viziteze magazinul pentru a gasi un iubit.

La primul etaj, anunt la intrare: Acesti barbati au un loc de munca.
Decide de a urca la urmatorul etaj.

La al 2 lea etaj, anuntul la intrare suna: Acesti barbati au un loc de munca, si iubesc copiii.
Decide de a urca la urmatorul etaj.

La al 3 lea etaj, anuntul la intrare indica: Acesti barbati au un loc de munca, iubesc copiii, si sunt extrem de frumosi.
Wow ! zice femeia, dar simte ca trebuie sa urce mai sus.

La al 4 lea etaj, anuntul de pe usa intrarii informeaza: Acesti barbati au un loc de munca, iubesc copiii, sunt extrem de frumosi, si ajuta la treburile casnice.
Incredibil, exclama femeia. Cu greu reusesc sa rezist!
Dar, urca din nou !

La al 5 lea etaj, anuntul de pe usa intrarii zice: Acesti barbati au un loc de munca, iubesc copiii, sunt extrem de frumosi, ajuta la treburile casnice si sunt extrem de romantici.
Femeia e foarte tentata sa ramana si sa-si aleaga unul, in schimb hotaraste sa urce la ultimul etaj...

Al 6 lea etaj:
ESTI VIZITATOAREA N° 31.456.012 al acestui etaj.
Aici nu exista barbati, acest etaj exista doar pentru a demonstra cat e de imposibil sa multumesti o femeie...
Multumim pentru alegerea de a vizita magazinul nostru!

Vis-a-vis de acest magazin, s-a deschis un Magazin de Neveste.
La primul etaj sunt femei ce iubesc sexul..
La al 2 lea etaj, sunt femei ce iubesc sexul, si sunt si bogate.
Etajele de la al 3-lea la al 6-lea N-AU FOST NICIODATA VIZITATE...!!!
sus
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